Prepare for the conversation.
Write down the main points you’ll have to talk about. If you’re worried, rehearse it. Of course, you don’t need to read out a prepared speech on a piece of paper, but it’s better to think through the plan of the conversation and foresee possible difficulties. During the conversation be calm, but not indifferent. By the way, if you are looking for a strong relationship this important source free will help you with it.
Choose the right place and time
Psychotherapy practitioner Amy Morin writes that the environment matters. So choose a place where you won’t be disturbed. If the news involves a follow-up discussion, set aside some time to answer your interlocutor’s questions or just listen. Giving bad news in between in a crowded and noisy space is not a good decision.
Give bad news in person
Breaking up via messenger or informing about dismissal in an email is disrespectful to the person you’re talking to. The same applies to more distressing news, such as illness or tragedy. So if there is an opportunity to meet in person, take it.
Speak softly, but directly and honestly.
Don’t try to hide an unpleasant truth. Amy Morin believes that being overly soft will not do any good. For example, when firing an employee, don’t tell him that it’s not his fault and that he’s doing a great job when he’s not. Delicately explain to him the real reasons, and do not make him guess why such a great employee like him was asked to leave.
Also, most people prefer straightforwardness if they are to receive negative information. If you are too soft, the person will suspect something is wrong and become nervous. Why torture him unnecessarily? Speak directly.
Watch your tone.
The tone of your message plays an important role. A sloppy presentation will cause a negative reaction, so take some time to politely explain to the person what’s wrong, and be completely objective.
Do not waterboard.
Don’t beat around the bush before you get to the point. Do not waste his time with idle talk about the weather or exchange rates – you did not call him for that. In addition, he may be confused by long meaningless chitchat, wondering what you want from him, and why he’s here in the first place. Instead, give him a polite greeting, express your regrets, and tell him what you want. It’s not about dumbfounding the unfortunate person with the news from the doorstep and getting away with it. A preface can be, but don’t stray too far off-topic.
Provide the facts.
The interlocutor may take what you say too emotionally. So be prepared to explain why this is the case. It all depends on the specific case and the topic you are talking about, but if you can give a reason – do it. Let the person see the situation fully, will be informed, and come to conclusions that will be useful for him in the future. Just don’t get hot, try to maintain a neutral position.
Don’t demand sympathy from your interlocutor
All the anger or resentment will likely pour out on the person giving the bad news. Even if nothing in the particular situation depended on you. Don’t abuse the phrases “Imagine how hard it is for me to talk about this!” or “Do you think it was easy for me?” – so you risk making the person even angrier. Amy Morin advises to prepare for different reactions of the interlocutor and try to accept it, but not to descend into insults.
Show concern.
Find out how the person took the news. Empathize, and support, but do not squeeze out fake emotions: sincerity is most important.
Offer to help
If there is something you can do, say so. If the person accepts the proposal, take it seriously: he has a problem, and you may be the only source of support.
Thanks to the eden dating service for this article.
